Almost everyone who has read Emily Dickinson’s work probably knows that she did not care to go out very often. I agree whole-heartedly with that mentality. The problem is that I cannot write like she did, and if I am going to be famous I better do it before I die. I mean, what is the point in being famous if you’re just chillin’ in the ground and can’t receive admiration in person? Anyway, now I am going to talk about one of her poems that I randomly picked off the list we read. I have no emotions towards it and that will reflect in my writing. If you want to, just imagine my face is like 😐 the whole time I am staring at the screen.

“I taste a liquor never brewed” is a beautiful poem. The title alone reminds me of the athletes at SWU, but they taste a liquor that was brewed. It’s almost like they come here for reasons other than God, but I am not going to look too deep into the problems at SWU. Especially not the conquest attitudes of some of the basketball players. I pride myself on my responsibility to keep trivial things left off paper. This is the internet though.

Remember how all those athletes went to a “Debauchee of Dew” and then got suspended from a number of games. Boy, I bet that was worth it. Doesn’t it make you proud to cheer on those dedicated people? Obviously, they aren’t all bad people. When a few of the soccer players got suspended the bench players got their time to shine. They did shine indeed. The way your greasy face shines after a long night of horrible, sweat-inducing nightmares. It was a bad shine. They squeaked by. They were not that good, but they were good with God.

“Seraphs swing their snowy Hats” makes me want to swing a snowy hat. It never snows enough to get a good layer on my hats, and I don’t really know how I would feel afterwards. I can picture myself in a self-induced vortex while I hold hats in each hand. I am fast. Almost as quick as the athletes who got caught.

Let’s not get caught up in all this bad talk, because that is not the Christian way. Although sometimes you could fool me because of the way some people on campus talk about each other. Oof. My advice would be that you shouldn’t really act horribly towards people that know what you have done or been through, but it does make it fun for them in the end. I think that’s what made Emily Dickinson’s life so appealing. She could just chill behind her words and never have to face the consequences. I want to write about everything and then just die before I have to deal with the blowback.

This brings me to another poem called “I felt a Funeral, in my Brain.” Every time I hear about the problematic children, I also feel a funeral in my brain. Like, what’s the point in all these problems? Seems like a lot of effort to just go out and party. Emily Dickinson understood that. Maybe everyone at SWU should read up on Emily Dickinson so that they can follow in her footsteps.

Now I am going to explain how she died. Alone. Probably. Which could happen to anyone, so be on your toes, my fellow students. Stay alive and keep your eyes open. It’s a jungle out there, and you should watch MONK. That is a good show and better than getting drunk.