Lyssa Henry

“the princess saves herself in this one” is a book full of beautifully written poetry depicting the struggles, challenges, and victories of its author, Amanda Lovelace. Lovelace exposes herself in an unapologetically serious way, leaving her struggles out in the open for all to see. Not only does this take courage, but it takes talent. The art of tastefully exposing your own past is not one easily mastered. There are four parts to this book: I. the princess, II. the damsel, III. the queen, and IV. you.

Part I focuses on Lovelace’s childhood and what she was like growing up. She is discovered to be an avid reader, clinging to her books as some kind of escape from the harsh reality of her surroundings. The author uses words as a way to keep herself sane, the same way that apparently her mother used alcohol and abuse. There are a few poems in the book that describe things that her mother had done to her, such as the one on page 15 that says:

there are
some mothers
who will warn you
to never ever
(ever ever)
touch the stove,
but there are
some mothers who
will drag you right to it
kicking & screaming,
laughing
as they
watch the flames
lick at your
fingertips.
– when you’re taught to see the world through fire, nothing looks safe.

This poem gives readers a glimpse of how terribly the author was treated in her childhood by her own mother, which is something that, at least openly, not many people can not relate to. The fact that this author was bold enough to share such a tender part of her life with readers all over the world makes her stronger than anyone I’ve ever known. It takes a big person to be open with the things that have happened to them.

Part II centers around Lovelace’s “romantic” past and features more about her mother, such as her mother’s death. The author, on top of everything we learned that happened to her earlier in her life, has been mistreated and abused, physically and emotionally, by the men in her life that assumed the role of “significant other” over the years. The men acted like they would be her savior from her life, but they would bring her back to a life at least as bad as her previous life. One poem on page 44 explained this in different words:

the damsel
let the dragons
swoop down
& steal her away
from the ugliness
of  her world.
unbeknownst to her,
she was only trading
one tower
for another.
– the wickedest liars of all.

In that poem, the dragons were men, and the towers were situations and circumstances that the author did not want to be a part of. If she had known at the time that the dragons were as dangerous as they were, she probably would have waited longer to be rescued. There are many poems like this one throughout the book, and every one of them allows the reader to get to know the author in a way that is more personal and vulnerable than the last. This book is not for the faint of heart, and it is clear to see that the author is putting a lot of faith in the readers to avoid abusing this power that she is giving them.

Part III, the queen, shows Lovelace becoming more confident and coming to terms with the things that have happened in her life, and it introduces a new love that seems to be significantly less toxic than the others, perhaps not even toxic at all. She realizes that there have been men that have fooled her in the past, but of this one, she says:

if he was
my cup of tea,
then you are
my cup of
coffee.
tea simply
isn’t
enough
for me
sometimes,
but
coffee
can get me
through
anything.
– did i make you up?

It seems apparent that the author realizes that this man will be able to help her and support her in ways that no other man ever could, and with what she has been through in her life, she really needs someone like him to keep her steady. She wrote several poems about how much this man was willing to do for her, and she let the readers know that he was more than willing to make sacrifices for her that no one else ever would.

The final section of the book is part IV, you. This part is about the author’s love for poetry, her hate for society and its judgement of people, and her love for the strength and grace of women. The poems in this section can inspire people to write, to feel better about themselves, to accept who they are, and to never give in to what other people expect of them. My personal favorite from the last part of the book is this:

trees
have words
the wind
cannot carry,
so we must
write
on them
their stories
until there are
none left
for them
to tell.
– write the story.

This one encourages people to write for those who can’t, and to write until there is nothing left to tell, which, due to the differences in people, is an end that will never quite be reached. There will always be a story for someone to tell, even when you’re the only one that is going to hear it.