It took me a good two pages before I learned that Rappaccini is a symbol for the Catholic Priest. “His figure soon emerged into view, and showed itself to be that of no common laborer, but a tall, emaciated, sallow, and sickly looking man, dressed in a scholar’s garb of black.” No doubt he’s sickly from the years of touching little boys inappropriately, but he still allows himself to be in the garden… He walks through the garden admiring the creativity within nature, but he is too afraid to be acknowledged by it just in case it will recognize him as the enemy. Is that a stretch? Hopefully, because I really need to stretch this blog out.

And then, all of a sudden, a young beauty by the name of Beatrice shows up. “Holy Virgin, signor!” She just walks up and smells the flowers because for now she’s safe. Giovanni realized that she was the same as the flowers and probably shouldn’t be touched. It would be great if it just stopped there. Unfortunately, guys don’t take their realizations of logic seriously. That’s the end of Hawthorne’s story. Giovanni sees this really weird dude and his daughter and says, “nope.”

Oh wait, she’s like pure or something, so Giovanni stays and takes “a most rational view of the whole matter.” Beatrice starts murdering everything with her breath and then destroys “pure and healthful” flowers. I don’t know who would stick around at this point, and I hope no one stuck around for this blog. Next is where I explain the dangers of going after a person who is the daughter of a mad person, for example a priest or sometimes a Baptist pastor. Honestly, there are a lot of positions that fit that description. Just watch out for dads in general.

We’re going to stay on Catholic Priests so that there is some kind of topic to this. Rappaccini is similar to a priest because they think they hide their child for protection and because the world is evil. In reality the ones who keep the children from experiencing the world actually kind of royally screw them up. Then these super holy children get out there and are the weirdest ones. These are not my opinions, they are cold hard facts brought to you from somewhere on the internet.

Rappaccini finds out and starts murdering people to “save” them, and where have we heard of those ideologies before? I am just stating that maybe we do not need Catholics anymore.